A post has been in order for a great many days...and I'm ashamed to say I just haven't had the energy or brain power to go ahead and bang the keyboard. Setting aside the fact that, that sentence reads so wrong in so many different ways, I'm going to tell you about the one fact of life I've come to accept: Change. It's everywhere, all around us - not just in the weather: coz admit it, the weather these days has turned into a real fucktardian mood bender hasn't it. Hot, cold, sunny, cloudy, rain, wind: it's a hundred and three seasons all in one day. Anyway, back to life's fact (change). I'll take you through it step by step, the long walk to realisation (since I'm going to teach for the rest of my legendary life, I may as well practice on you guys - if I mess you up I won't be held accountable see).
Exhibit A:
Joel...has changed. He's no longer the retard, otees-and-nesquik-captain-planet-elemental-hero, kinda guy I'd grown to know and love. I don't see him as the guy who inspired this surprisingly read (thank you World and Loyal Followers) blog - Pinus is no longer his deal. Thursday 17th March...wasn't such a far off account. I guess I lost him, even back when he used to be right next to me. Friendships change - even the best of them. You know someone and then turn around a few times and you can't recognise them - the saddest part is, I liked the old him. It's like playing hide and seek, sometimes I catch a glimpse, but before I can shout, "GOTCHA!", he's disappeared again. I've accepted that though, people will change. If not for THE best, for their best. And a lot of the times, you can't fault them for it either - after all, the human species beat the dinosaurs; change is in our DNA; we adapt to survive.
Exhibit B:
Global warming has ruined my summer (the weather could NOT be summed up in two lines - the bitch needs an entire paragraph). I've spent more time being sick than I have actually soaking up the Vitamin D. In previous years, summer was a stretched out, icicle flavoured affair, spent splashing about in the pool and getting burnt to a crisp at the beach. STOP KILLING THE ATMOSPHERE PEOPLE...I miss the days where we just had one season in a day - in the one season it was supposed to be in. Change is responsible for this, I'm certain of it. More penguins are dying than before - I can feel it in my bones. It's because we keep using up more than we should and manufacturing more than we need, all to appease the monster called consumerism. (Fight Club -English 101 - wasn't lost on me see). Which sort of brings me back to exhibit A - the more we evolve, the more change there is, and the more we consume, and so...the more global warming fucks us over.
Exhibit C:
Harry Potter...do you remember back in the day, when it all began - with the little shack in the middle of the ocean and Hagrid barging in to rescue us from the horrible Dursley's with his all mighty umbrella? Yeah, I think back to that squashed and soggy blue and white birthday cake too and smile fondly. Fuck off Professor Quirrell, I'll punch you in the fucking nose bitch - you're nothing but a spectre Voldemort and in the 7th book I vaporise you (that's what I shout out now days when I reread it). Back in the day, before DVD's became popular, I killed my Video cassette of the Philosophers Stone, just so I could learn all the spells (there were only so many times you could watch something back then before it blew up). We're the generation that grew up in an alternate universe - one where we learnt spells and fought off Basilisks and flew on Hippogriffs - we were the cool generation....the times have changed though, nowadays, kids are running after vampires that sparkle. I mean seriously, freaktards, SPARKLE? Dracula is probably turning in tomb, screeching, "WHY?! MY LIFE'S WORK! ALL CHUCKED UP FOR A FAGGOT?!" Sorry Twilight fans, after the brilliance of Harry Potter and the epic history that vampires have cultivated, I simply cannot condone any vampire that sparkles - except maybe Alice, and that's only because she's awesome and can't create a child with her frozen dead vampire sperm. Like, SERIOUSLY? Times, have definitely changed.
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Change...change is the sore throat before the flu letting you know you're fucked. But, I guess change is also...the bud you see before the full blown rose. It's the sun in the morning chasing away the dark and the stars in the evening when the world slips to sleep. Change is part of life. It's tangible, it's inevitable. Change...change my lovely lovely people of Planet Earth, is something I will never quite cheer on, but also something I can never do without.
Fortune Cookie says: Change is like Pi. After a certain point, we never know what number is coming next (well us normal nerds, not the hardcore geeks).
Exhibit A:
Joel...has changed. He's no longer the retard, otees-and-nesquik-captain-planet-elemental-hero, kinda guy I'd grown to know and love. I don't see him as the guy who inspired this surprisingly read (thank you World and Loyal Followers) blog - Pinus is no longer his deal. Thursday 17th March...wasn't such a far off account. I guess I lost him, even back when he used to be right next to me. Friendships change - even the best of them. You know someone and then turn around a few times and you can't recognise them - the saddest part is, I liked the old him. It's like playing hide and seek, sometimes I catch a glimpse, but before I can shout, "GOTCHA!", he's disappeared again. I've accepted that though, people will change. If not for THE best, for their best. And a lot of the times, you can't fault them for it either - after all, the human species beat the dinosaurs; change is in our DNA; we adapt to survive.
Exhibit B:
Global warming has ruined my summer (the weather could NOT be summed up in two lines - the bitch needs an entire paragraph). I've spent more time being sick than I have actually soaking up the Vitamin D. In previous years, summer was a stretched out, icicle flavoured affair, spent splashing about in the pool and getting burnt to a crisp at the beach. STOP KILLING THE ATMOSPHERE PEOPLE...I miss the days where we just had one season in a day - in the one season it was supposed to be in. Change is responsible for this, I'm certain of it. More penguins are dying than before - I can feel it in my bones. It's because we keep using up more than we should and manufacturing more than we need, all to appease the monster called consumerism. (Fight Club -English 101 - wasn't lost on me see). Which sort of brings me back to exhibit A - the more we evolve, the more change there is, and the more we consume, and so...the more global warming fucks us over.
Exhibit C:
Harry Potter...do you remember back in the day, when it all began - with the little shack in the middle of the ocean and Hagrid barging in to rescue us from the horrible Dursley's with his all mighty umbrella? Yeah, I think back to that squashed and soggy blue and white birthday cake too and smile fondly. Fuck off Professor Quirrell, I'll punch you in the fucking nose bitch - you're nothing but a spectre Voldemort and in the 7th book I vaporise you (that's what I shout out now days when I reread it). Back in the day, before DVD's became popular, I killed my Video cassette of the Philosophers Stone, just so I could learn all the spells (there were only so many times you could watch something back then before it blew up). We're the generation that grew up in an alternate universe - one where we learnt spells and fought off Basilisks and flew on Hippogriffs - we were the cool generation....the times have changed though, nowadays, kids are running after vampires that sparkle. I mean seriously, freaktards, SPARKLE? Dracula is probably turning in tomb, screeching, "WHY?! MY LIFE'S WORK! ALL CHUCKED UP FOR A FAGGOT?!" Sorry Twilight fans, after the brilliance of Harry Potter and the epic history that vampires have cultivated, I simply cannot condone any vampire that sparkles - except maybe Alice, and that's only because she's awesome and can't create a child with her frozen dead vampire sperm. Like, SERIOUSLY? Times, have definitely changed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Change...change is the sore throat before the flu letting you know you're fucked. But, I guess change is also...the bud you see before the full blown rose. It's the sun in the morning chasing away the dark and the stars in the evening when the world slips to sleep. Change is part of life. It's tangible, it's inevitable. Change...change my lovely lovely people of Planet Earth, is something I will never quite cheer on, but also something I can never do without.
Fortune Cookie says: Change is like Pi. After a certain point, we never know what number is coming next (well us normal nerds, not the hardcore geeks).
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