You can't cross a bridge, without taking in the view.

It's always sad when we part ways with a friend. It's even sadder though, when you realise that if you had both just done a few things differently - or not at all - that friendship might still be alive. One of the advantages of growing older, is retrospective wisdom. It doesn't make me feel any smarter though, just foolish, when I think about everything that lead me to this point: this point where, even when I can wholeheartedly say, "I built my bridge, and I got over it", every now and then a memory creeps up on me, one that I can't wash away.
I think the reason we find it so difficult to let go of memories, even when a relationship or friendship is over, is because memories last longer than the people who live in them - and they never change. As humans, we are adaptable to change; it doesn't mean though, that we like it all the time.
I used to fight these unwanted visitors, block them up, hush them down, pretend they didn't exist and stuff them back in whichever mental album they'd fallen out from. Except they'd always come back, demanding to be acknowledged. And then I realised, I had to let them have their say. Let them reel out like ribbons, and show me the pretty pictures from the past. You can't move forward in life, or turn over a new leaf, or really reach the end of that bridge, till you've accepted your past and that, that's all it ever will be now - the past. So I let them have their time on my minds stage when it so pleases them, I let them show me all the things that once made me smile, all the words that once made me laugh, all the times that made me feel as if I had a warm, glowing globe of happiness floating somewhere where my heart was supposed to be. I let them grab my hand and tug me along down memory lane. And I smile and I laugh and I feel that glowing globe floating inside, and I also feel the weight of realisation settling upon me when I remember that these are the remnants of something dead. And as much as there is a part of me that cringes away from it, there is a greater part that smiles and says, "thank you", because it happened. Thank you Joel, I owe you...just like you owe me.