Summer has come and passed, the Innocent can never last...

I have discovered many things this month:

The Deaths of my Grandmother, and Uncle Eric Winkler (from up the road) taught me this.
1) We don't live forever.
2) Life is shorter than we think it.
3) The good always die first.
4) Death doesn't discriminate.

My three week stint, filling in for a teacher on holiday, taught me these:
5) I am capable of being the kind of teacher I used to hate.
6) Children are capable of far more than we give them credit for.

Cat In The Box taught me this one aka Oliver Twist - he was a kitten I found this week, who many forgot was a living, breathing, scared, cold and hungry little creature. He hissed at me and tried to scratch me when I was only trying to help him; they laughed at me for my perseverance. He taught me,
7) Infinite patience and genuine goodwill is eventually recognised.
8) Every life deserves a chance, no matter how small.

The last few weeks of this month taught me,
9) Who is really in my corner when I need them.
10) The guys in my life are mostly cowards - excepting my cousins.

Loss made me realise,
11) We all have a switch, that you can flip, to turn off your emotions.
12) Don't wait till you lose someone, to remember all the reasons why you want them around.

13) I will never eat something my Grandmother cooked again.
14) I will never get to come home and tell her about my day.
15) I will never again get to twirl around for her in my dress and heels and pretty jewellery before I go off to someone's wedding.
16) My Grandmother will never sit proudly at my graduation, or my wedding, and she won't get to see her great-great-grandchild one day - all of the things, I somehow took for granted she would be around to do.
17) I will never again sit and listen to her talk about all the years past.
18) I will never comb her hair for her. Ever again.

19) I am stronger than I knew I was capable of being.

20) The world around me is fragile - like a glass bauble - just one experience can fracture it, even a tiny crack leaves everything distorted and out of shape...but you learn to look around that fissure and see the world, if not as the same as it once was, with a closer understanding of what it really is.

A friend, named Mickey, and a KFC Brownie Avalanche made me smile because,
21) Comfort often comes from the most unlikely places.
22) Sometimes the people you expect the least to be there for you - will be.

D made me understand,
23) That sometimes silence is the best band aid to a fractured heart.

Visitors made me realise,
24) That the stupidest question someone can ask you when you've just lost someone you love, is "how are you?"
25) The easiest reply to that question, is "Fine," with a smile. Because it puts a full stop to any further questions that you have no inclination to answer.

Watching someone die made me realise,
26) No horror scene can ever be scary again.
27) For all our bluster and our confidence and our clever improvisations in helpless situations - there is nothing we can do in the face of Death.

April proved, 
28) That it is my least favourite month.
29) Life goes on, even in the face of death.