Here's the thing about forgiveness...we don't forgive to appease the other person's conscience - we withhold our forgiveness to make the one who has affronted us feel guilty...but ultimately, we forgive so that we can feel good about ourselves. It's not a pretty thing to hear, but it's the truth.
It's often been said to me, that I'm too good of a person because I grant forgiveness to whoever asks for it - and this is not me being arrogant, it's just a fact - usually, whether they're deserving of forgiveness or not. The truth is, I'm a very selfish person, because forgiving them makes me feel like a better person. Forgiving makes it easier for me to be happy - and I so do love my happiness. It takes too much out of me, to hold tight to that acquittal, and it sows too much dissent within myself.
I'm only human, and I get mad; I feel hurt; I can even, on the odd (very odd) occasion, turn irrational...but if it's in my power to show mercy to someone who needs exoneration - whether they've asked for it and meant it, or not - then I will. Don't get me wrong: step over a certain line, and my inner bitch will come alive...but really, what's supposed to taste like salt and ash at the tip of my pride...really tastes like warm, vanilla custard.
And it's not because I'm a good person or because I'm partial to their need for atonement...it's to appease my own need for self-absolution.
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