Ordinary Guy made a comment about how he was biased towards his mothers cooking, and I replied, "Most people are...well, except me. I'm biased towards my Nani's." And then I realised, I'm not. I can't be, because my Grandmother isn't around any more.
For the past few days the monthly anniversary of her death has been floating about my head like a long forgotten dream...and I keep shoving it away, in the hope that maybe, it would delay itself. It hasn't. At 6pm tomorrow evening, it will just be beginning. All over again.
I often wonder why in the world He chose me that night. I wonder, would I feel any better or any worse had I not been the one. The truth is, I don't know, and I'll never know. What I do know, is that a part of me is grateful for it and a part of me wishes I was never there - that part of me still wonders, might the outcome have been any different had it been someone else...
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